I'm saying, you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot.
Well of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you. Or my new dream, of ditching my family, and sneaking back to India in disguise! Apu? Never heard of him! My name is Steve Barnes! Simpson you must pursue your dreams! Like my old dream of coming to America and starting a family. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star! Comic Book Guy (" The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show") Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever! Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Homer Simpson (" Bart Gets an Elephant")
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Kent Brockman (" You Kent Always Say What You Want")Ĭome on, Wikipedia, load, you unwieldy behemoth! Oh, dear, Sideshow Bob, "Hoist on his own petard." I apologize and will make a large donation to charities that fight teen cursing. Abraham Simpson (" Million Dollar Abie")Įarlier on this broadcast, I said a word so vile that it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting on the toilet. Who are you? What do you want? What year is it? Who are you? Mayor Quimby (" There's Something About Marrying") We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds. Groundskeeper Willie (" Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore") Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland! But wherever America has needed me, I've been there. I've brought laughter to your homes three days a week, eighteen weeks a year, for twelve of the past 25 years. Professor Frink (" Sweets and Sour Marge") Oh, what gave me away? Out of curiosity, was it the "hoyvin" or the "maving" or was it the whole "GA-HOW-VING!" thing that I do? I'll be shot three days before retirement. Montgomery Burns (" The Mansion Family") Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: got in my way. Let's see, social security number: naught, naught, naught. Stephen Hawking (" They Saved Lisa's Brain") Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. Religion must stay 500 yards from Science at all times. As for Science versus Religion, I'm issuing a restraining order. I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more can I do? I.I.I feel like I wannaa yell out, but I just can't dang-darn-diddly-darn-dang-ĭing-dong-diddly-darned do it! I just.I.*sigh*. I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side. (lie detector dings) Now, would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (lie detector buzzes). (lie detector buzzes) Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. (lie detector buzzes) Dinner with friends. Now, a word to our audience: even though we're being broadcast on Fox, there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering. The League of Uninformed Voters presents the Springfield Mayoral Debates. Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!' My Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions, but this time, he's gone too far! I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins. That does it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young.
I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. Sleeping? Eating a big sandwich? Watching TV? Spending time with the boy! Spending time with the boy! The boy needs attention, Marge. Museum? Tomorrow? Oh, oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning on. Marge Simpson (" Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire") The magic of the season has touched us all. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven.
#EVER FORWARD AND TWIRLING TOWARD FREEDOM UPDATE#
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